Anxiety

Suddenly I can feel everything 

Overwhelmingly, crushing

Like a weight upon me 

And I can’t breathe

I can’t move 

My eyes are now welling with tears 

Falling, they stain everything 

And all I want to do is scream

But there’s no voice to cry out

I’m paralyzed by this thing 

Coiling within, throughout, and around me 

I want my mommy 

But I don’t want to tell her 

I don’t want her to look at me 

In the way I know she will 

I don’t want her to worry

So here I stay

Trapped in my own dismay 

Desperately trying to break free 

And now I’m shaking 

Convulsing, dry heaving, straight bawling 

Forcibly, I wipe tears from my face 

Rubbing and rubbing my head 

Willing this creeping, sinking despair with my mind 

Taking deep breaths 

Coming back slowly to myself 

Now just slow slobs 

I wipe the last tear 

And go wash my face

I look at myself in the mirror 

But I don’t see me 

There’s this sniveling thing

Snot falling, eyes and nose red 

And something else 

Fear, worry . . . 

No, it’s name is anxiety