While We Were Dating by Jasmine Guillory

Dec 12

Dec 12 While We Were Dating by Jasmine Guillory

This spoke to me. I read a lot of contemporary romances, and although this was predictable, it did so in a way that broke through the stereotypical tropes of rom-coms. Not only that, but this novel addresses the issues of mental health and therapy in the black community. While We Were Dating is a feel good, rom-com read that I’m sure you’ll love.

In most rom-coms, it is common to start with the woman, however, While We Were Dating opens up with Ben. And we learn that he works as one of the few people of color at an ad agency. But it is his melanin and his coolness under pressure that endears him to famous actress Anna Gardiner and lands him as the lead on the ad campaign.

Anna soon discovers what makes him so cool. It isn’t just his pretty brown face and sexy smile, but that he’s really good at his job. He’s attentive to her needs and knows alot about the business as far as the camera is concerned. But he’s also funny, sweet, treats everyone with respect and Anna can be herself around him.

Ben genuinely is a nice guy. So nice, that when Anna’s father ends up in the hospital, Ben doesn’t hesitate to personally drive her there. Anna’s anxiety returns and she tries not to let it get the best of her. And though she is better than she was a year ago, she can’t help but worry. But with Ben, she is relaxed. More so, she would have been by herself. Ben is the soothing balm for her anxiety that she needs.

Ben completely understands her falling apart and is there for her. Ben himself goes to therapy to deal with his issues with his father. He fears he’ll end up leaving whomever he’s with, just like his dad, thus Ben avoids attachment and doesn’t commit to serious relationships. But he is so drawn to Anna, he wants to be with her all the time.

Although mental health and therapy are gaining ground slowly in the black community, I’m glad they were both discussed in this book. And it wasn’t just casually mentioned. Anna talks about her anxiety, not just what caused it but what it felt like, what it still feels like as she deals with it. Ben goes to therapy and is learning to express his feelings, instead of using sex to gloss over the issue. Something that black men do often from my experience but only because I think they don’t know or aren’t taught to express themselves in other ways.

There is definitely something between the two. Ben has seen the worst in Anna and still likes her. Anna feels comfortable and safe with Ben. Hence why I was surprised when Anna let her manager talk her into fake dating Ben, and Ben agrees. This is where I started to dislike Anna’s character. I felt she used her career as an excuse for how she treated Ben. However, I liked that for once, the guy was the one who got hurt because the girl was in the wrong. Sure, I hated that Ben got hurt (I was practically screaming at Anna) but I liked that he grew and even more so, they both brought out the best in each other.

While We Were Dating had me worried that it wouldn’t end well but it turned out better than I thought. Even better, you get to see a beautiful, black relationship that isn’t toxic, over the top, or cheesy. Most importantly, While We Were Dating tackles mental health and therapy in a realistic and healthy way. Definitely a read you don’t want to miss.