I Hate This

It is my last week of classes and I am struggling to write, so I decided to write about having to turn in homework, even when the juices aren’t flowing. Enjoy.

It was not my best work. I knew I could do so much better than that. But for some odd reason, my words failed me. 

“Ugh.” I collapsed against my bed, groaning in despair. 

“At least the whole class wouldn’t have to read it,” I said aloud to no one. 

I sat up and reviewed the piece before me. I began rereading it for the umpteenth time. I knew there wasn’t anything more I could do unless I wanted to start from scratch again. The assignment was due by midnight and it was already after eleven. It is only a writing exercise, why was I so hung up on this?

“Because you’re a perfectionist.” Again, talking to myself. 

I studied my words on the bright, white backdrop, the blinking cursor mocking me, repeatedly calling me a fake with each blink. 

“Ya think I don’t know that!” I screamed, chucking the laptop across my duvet comforter. 

“Just get it over with. The worst thing that will happen is my professor will read something she doesn’t like. It’s better than receiving a failing grade,” I reasoned. 

I grabbed my laptop, setting it back between legs. I read my work one last time, cleaned up any grammatical and syntactical errors that my tired brain could find; then I copied and pasted the words into the text box, and hit Submit. I watched my assignment buffer until finally it read Successfully Submitted 11:58pm. 

“Whew. Just in time.” I wiped my brow before closing my laptop and going to bed. Nothing else left to do but . . . fret all night about the quality of my work and how much of a fraud I am. 

“Ugh! I hate this!”

283 Words