Ch. 2

Pamuya POV

Hands grappled me down to the ground, arms and legs pressing into my whole body, pinning me in place. If I wanted to, I could throw them all off me, yet the wrath emanating from in front of me made me think better of it. I could only cast my gaze forward, awaiting judgment.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” he asked.

This wasn’t like Amek. He didn’t usually care to find out why you did something, he simply punished and moved on with his day. I did not regret saving that human and Amek would never hear me apologize for doing so. He knew me well enough to know that, so why the questioning?

Amek’s wrath knew no bounds. He once ripped out the spleen of a servant for cursing under their breath. Another time, he had a lesser spirit’s hands cut off for stealing from the garden. Sometimes, he’d just increase the weight of the heavens, causing everyone to bend under his immense celestial force.

Amek had never done these things to me. I was his daughter after all. Still, I knew not to test him. Not when he was like this. I wished he’d just do it and get it over with. Whatever my punishment was, I just wanted it over and done.

“Answer the Spirit King!” One of the guards planted his palm against my face, smashing it deeper into the ground.

The intensity in the atmosphere increased causing myself and the other spirits to cower under Amek’s power. I could feel the guards trembling on top of me. I glimpsed upward and saw Amek's hand rise forward before a white hot blast escaped his palm, enflaming the guard who’d disrespected me from the inside out until he fell into a pile of ash.

“Leave! All of you!” he bellowed.

I felt their bodies lift from my own and heard their “Yes King” as they made their exit. I was sure they bowed deeply, too afraid to make eye contact. Once I felt their energies dissipate, I glanced upon my father and immediately was backhanded, falling to my knees.

“What were you thinking? Do you understand what you’ve done?”

I rose to my feet and wiped my essence from my lips. Amek could hit hard enough to break your spirit. A little bleeding was nothing yet I wasn’t dumb enough to answer him.

“Still have nothing to say?”

I kept my head hung but I could feel his presence circling my body. Was he going to attack again? Was he going to keep peppering me with questions? Both? Or something much worse?

Before I could tell what was happening, Amek wrangled me up on my feet, pulling me towards The Looking Pot, this giant, white clay pot in the middle of a field of lush greenery. 

Much of the heavens were white, made of silvery, glittery porcelain. Just like Amek liked it. It seemed he hated color. As though Amek wanted to rid the world of vibrance, of life. The only source of color being the celestials themselves, with their skin a rich, red clay to match the earth the humans walked upon. 

Suddenly it dawned on her. The Looking Pot may not have looked like anything special, but it was the only way I could access the mortal realm, and any other realms I wished to visit. And if it were destroyed, I could never leave the celestial planes, ever. 

I dug my feet into white, shimmering marble, cracking open the floor. This didn’t deter Amek in the slightest, as he dragged me along, tearing through the ground as he pulled me along. I tried to wrestle out of his grip, yanking my arm back as hard as I could, but Amek only tightened his hold.

Once there, he threw me down upon the portal, gripping the back of my head, forcing me to stare at the humans below.

“Tell me why?!” he demanded.

“What difference would it make?” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of watching them fall.

Amek pulled me back before slamming me down again into the pot. I heard the crack and tried to lift my head so I could see but Amek held my face down, pressed firm against The Looking Pot. Hot tears leaked from eyes, falling into the mortal realm below.

“Amek, I beg of you.”

“You beg of me?!” He seethed, wrenching me to my feet again. “Look at you, like those weak, disgusting creatures. Sniveling, groveling, begging!” He practically spat. “Always clambering to get something. Is that what you want to be? Is it? IS IT?!”

He slammed me down again, and this time a huge piece broke off the portal but The Looking Pot hadn’t been completely destroyed–yet. I needed to break free and end this.

Still in Amek’s grasp, I moved forward and placed my hands against his chest, standing between him and my only path to the humans. “Amek please—” Quicker than I could blink, he seized my throat and thrashed me back into The Looking Pot. I felt more large pieces break off, the sound of clay hitting against marble paralleled with the breaking of my heart.

“Amek!”

 He stopped, as if he was seeing me for the first time. He released me, taking a step back, wiping his hand over his face before solemnly saying,

“I just want to know why.”

I could hear the desperation in his voice. I guessed I wasn’t the only one hurting. I took a deep breath and took a tentative step forward.

 “I couldn’t not save him. I had to let him live. He deserved to live,” I finally admitted.

“But why give him your lifeforce?”

“I just wanted to be sure he’d always be safe, protected, even when I wasn’t around.”

“You barely know this creature and yet you committed this sin . . . for him?!” Amek was getting riled up.

True, I had done all this for a human. And it was no secret Amek thought human lives meaningless and insignificant, but it was our lives that were nothing. All this power, this immortality and what did we choose to do with it? Lounge about and watch those lesser, weaker than us suffer, as if they deserved it for not being celestials. But neither humans nor spirits could help what we were.

I took a deep breath and stood up, planting my feet firmly, steeling my resolve.

“It’s true, humans do have limited lives but they make the most out of what they have. This human, this beautiful boy didn’t deserve to have his light snuffed out. Not by natural circumstances nor by us. He has so much left to do and I . . .” I faltered a bit but regained my courage. “And I want to see what he can do.”

“Then you leave me no choice.”

Two guards appeared out of nowhere and wrangled me away from the portal, wrestling me to the ground before clamping a metal collar around my neck. The collar had a rope in the back that I could feel the two using to bind my hands. They tied it tightly so that every time I moved, my neck would jerk.

This was no ordinary contraption. It was infused with some sort of magic designed to make me weak. Normally I would have been able to break free easily but my whole body felt too heavy to lift. I collapsed to my knees, gasping for breath, trying to gather any strength I could muster.

“What did you do to me?” I could barely get out.

“This device comes from The Frost, where I’ll be sending you,” he stated.

“But The Frost is for the most heinous and vile of spirits. Surely what I did–”

“You gave a piece of yourself to a human! It is strictly forbidden!” he roared, scaring the guards and even the plants and pillars around us cowered before him. “I’m sorry.”  He relented, truly looking sorrowful before he returned to The Looking Pot, smashing it to bits with his bare hands.

“Amek no!” I stood but this damned device caused me to crumble. Still I tried to inch my way forward. “Amek please, please! Father stop!” I begged, thrashing about to free myself but to no avail.

Little by little, the portal closed up and I could no longer see the human world below. Then the guards gathered me up and led me to The Frost, a frozen collective of celestial dust designed to keep even the most powerful of spirits subdued, including Amek himself. The walls weren’t cold like ice or snow, but cold like the emptiness of the vast cosmos. The doors made of crystalized dust from the darkest parts of the universe that drained the life out of you. I wondered how long he would keep me there. For forever? Although now that my only way to see that boy was gone, I didn’t want to come out.

Before me stood ice walls that went on for as long as I could see. With a giant rumble as the frozen doors slowly began to open. The guards looked at me solemnly and I gave them both a weak smile. I refused to look at Amek. Part of me figured his usual stoic expression rested on his face but the sorrow he expressed earlier told me different. If I glanced back now, I might see regret and remorse on his face. Maybe even tears. I didn’t want to find out. I held my head up high and slowly marched to my fate. Once inside, the doors slammed shut behind me and I sank to the ground and cried.

Annalee POV

Ice covered my dorm room as I stirred awake.. Thank goodness my roommate wasn’t here, again. I could get rid of the water easily enough, but ice, I didn't know.

Leaping out of my bed, standing in the middle of the room, I took a deep breath, feeling the spirit flow within me. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, the world was crisper and brighter, as though I were channeling Pamuya through me. I stuck my hands out in front of me and took another deep breath. The ice began to melt and soon enough, the room was as it was before. 

 I looked at my phone and saw that it's almost 10. That left me 20 minutes before I had to be at the Visitor’s Center. Scrambling, I showered and slipped on a school sweatshirt, some jeans and my favorite boots. They looked like moccasins, but they had a hard bottom and came just above my ankles. Then I grabbed my heavy coat and headed for the door.

I was used to the warmth of the ranch back home but here; it was always cold. I didn’t understand how the other kids sometimes walked around in just a sweatshirt and jeans, and I certainly didn’t get flipflops. It was simply too cold for any of that.

Outside, there were kids laying on the grassing lawn of the Quad. Some were canoodling, others appeared to be soaking up the sun, even though it was autumn. Although, it had been raining for the past few days, so now was a good time to absorb some rays. Not me though. I had been awake most of the night waiting for just this moment. Today was the day Dad was going to me the whole tale of my past, not the PG version he’d always fed me. If I ever hoped to learn about my past, I’d need to know everything. 

Since I lived on campus, Dad and I agreed to meet in front of the Visitor’s Center. Though the prep school was closed to the general public, parents could come on site and sign their children out. No different than public school really. Yet I hated coming to this place. Dad and I were the few people of color around here, so we stood out. 

I came up to the back, swiping my key card through the slot on the door before making my way to the front desk. The lady sitting there was giving my dad the stink eye, as though he were here to kidnap me or something. 

“And is Ms. Greyeyes expecting you?” the rude woman inquired.

“Yes she is,” I answered for my dad.

I showed her my key card, which had my picture on it and what dorm I lived in and had my student ID number on it. She squinted like she couldn’t read it, and maybe she couldn’t, but I’d bet anything, she saw everything she needed to know clearly. All this extra checking was just for show.

“Looks like everything’s in order. Just sign out Ms. Greyeyes and you’re free to go.”

I chose not to fixate on her word choice and simply smiled, leading my dad to the exit.

“How are you?” he asked once we were outside. “You warm enough kiddo?” 

“Yes.” I laughed. “Although I could stand to be warmer.” 

He just chuckled, the creases around his eyes crinkling even more.

Nolan Greyeyes looked a lot younger than most dads. He had such rich clay, earth-toned skin that was smooth all over. And he still had all his hair, which he kept in a long braid down his back, although sometimes he sported a low ponytail–but nothing flashy. Even the way he dressed was down to earth. Just some worn-out jeans and a dark blue t-shirt and his favorite faux rawhide jacket.

I missed his laugh and those crinkling eyes of his. I hated that I had to hide away here in this place, but I knew he hated not being able to protect me more. We were both just trying to make the best of a bad situation.

“Well, let’s get some coffee and find somewhere to talk.” My dad slung his arm across my shoulders.

I could smell sawdust and raw clay that always lingered on his skin from working on the ranch. Dad always smelled of the earth, as if he had been born from it. Yet there was a hint of pine from the soap he used. Home, that’s what he smelled like.  

We found a place near campus, ordered our caramel lattes then found a park nearby to just walk for a bit.

“So are you going to tell me now?” I asked.

“No, not yet. We need to find some place quiet where we won’t be disturbed.”

“Then why didn’t we go back to my room?”

“Because your roommate could show up at any moment and I didn’t want to weird her out. Besides, you’re just starting out in this place, do you really want to be the weird girl?”

“No. It’s already weird enough that my powers flood the room every night. Although this morning, I woke up to ice.”

“Really? That’s interesting. What do you think brought that on?”

I stopped walking and reached for my dad’s arm. He paused, turning to look at me, concern etched on his face. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” 

“I dreamed about Amek last night.” 

“You've never dreamed about Amek before, not even once.”

“I know. I think some part of me, Pamuya, didn’t want to think about him, and based off my dream, I could see why,” I told Dad. 

“Come with me.” Dad led us off the beaten path, deep into the woods until we reached a clearing. Then we sat on the forest floor. He pulled out an old, weathered leather pouch and when he opened it, a shimmering array of colors shone before me.

“What is that?” I asked.

“Celestial dust. I’ve had it for some time, waiting until this very moment to use it.”

“What, you bought this from the spiritual store or something?” 

“No,” Dad laughed. “There are pockets within this world that tie into the spiritual world. And during certain times of year, like a solstice or a full moon, you can enter the spirit world or the celestial heavens and revisit your past life.” 

He sprinkled a thin layer of dust into a semi-large circle between us. The ground began to glow before revealing the ocean reflecting a very full moon.

“So when you step through these pockets, you what, revert back to your former self?”

“More or less. It just depends. The spirit world is only for spirits. Mortals who’ve died go to another plane of existence. Because you and I were spirits in our previous lives, we can easily travel to the spirit world.” 

I took a moment to process this. If I were to go through one of these pockets, then I could go back to being Pamuya. Maybe then, all my memories would come back and fill in all those missing pieces. 

 “We begin on a night where the moon shone brightest, and the ocean was at her wildest. It’s said that the sea was about to give birth to a being unlike any other. And that being was you,” Dad said. 

 I leaned forward, peering through the celestial circle. It was as if I had been transported to another world. The scene plays out before me.

The moon shone down on the choppy waters below, penetrating its light through the water’s surface. The ocean spirit, Ama, parted the waves and brought forth a small being with long dark hair and mismatched eyes, and skin the color of clay. She was named Pamuya for the water and the moon.

Pamuya had longed to see where her mother was from and Ama had promised to someday take her. However, on that very day, Amek rattled the heavens and sent a powerful tsunami wiping out Ama and her people, plunging them to the spirit world forever. And from that day on, Amek never let Pamuya out of his sight.

“How did Ama betray Amek?”

“Not sure. It’s only ever been known that Amek became vengeful, accusing Ama of betraying him and then he sent the tsunami.” Dad shrugged.

Knowing he couldn’t watch Pamuya every moment, Amek decided to train her to defend herself. The princess trained day and night, so that she may fight against all enemies, but also to defend the celestial heavens and The Spirit King himself.

But Pamuya grew tired of all the training and longed for something more. A few centuries had passed since her mother’s banishment and Amek thought it time for her to visit the human realm.

Amek took his daughter to the center of their garden, where a giant, white pot lay. It looked like an ordinary pot but upon closer inspection, Pamuya could see clouds and birds and the ocean and all kinds of strange creatures down below. Amek permitted her to step into the mortal realm.

When Pamuya touched the earth, she could hear birds singing, the wind whistling, the leaves rustling, and something else. She could hear a sound that was familiar to her ears, but the words sounded foreign to her. Amek explained that those creatures were humans. Although they looked like celestial beings, they were far from it. They were mortal, which meant their lifespans were destined to end at some point, often sooner rather than later.

Amek informed her that even though spirits could be killed and thus die, spirits didn’t age so quickly and could not perish from sickness or age. Should nothing challenge or oppose them, they could live on forever. And that was the difference between them and humans. 

Amek and Pamuya had returned to the heavens, but Pamuya could not get the humans out of her head. She wanted more than just observing them from afar. She dreamed of something touching one, maybe even conversing with one. But it seemed hopeless. Amek never let her visit the human realm without an escort.

But Pamuya was crafty. Once, when Amek was training the shaman, the guardians of all spiritual magic, she snuck off and found herself at The Looking Pot. She only intended to dip a toe in but before she could even try, the guards had rushed to her side and whisked her away.

Leader of the shaman, Tanaq, promised not to tell Amek. For Tanaq knew how wrathful Amek could be and he’d never understand. However, Pamuya kept sneaking off to The Looking Pot, each time dipping more of herself into the human world. Tanaq warned her to be careful.

Yet Pamuya did not heed his warning. For soon, she found herself in the mortal realm, severing a piece of her spirit into a human boy. And such a taboo was punishable by banishment.

“Why can’t a spirit give of themselves to a human?” I asked.

“Spirits are very powerful, pure beings. It is as if they are made of celestial dust itself. Humans are made of clay, dirt, earth. There is nothing magical about them but they have the power to become magical,” he began.

“Humans have potential and though their lifespans are short, they can achieve some amazing things. For it is their willpower that sustains, not magic itself. And because their wills are so strong, it is said that they have the potential to swallow a spirit. Or at the very least corrupting it and making it less pure, weakening the spirit.

“For you, Pamuya, you willingly gave up a part of yourself to a human. That could be dangerous. The human could become greedy and want more and use what power you gave him to control everything. His appetite would never be satiated until he devoured everything. Power can make the human go mad. That’s why it’s forbidden to give a portion of your spirit to a human.

“Although, there is something Amek feared more than a human gaining power.”

“What?” I leaned forward, dying to know.

“Amek feared that a human could one day possess the ability to enter the heavens. It is true that humans have souls and when they die, the soul departs or reincarnate,” he gestured to her. “Or cross over to the other side. Now this side is not the same heaven that spirits reside in and thus no human would ever have the power to enter into the celestial plane. But if one were to become like a spirit, there’d be nothing stopping them.”

I contemplated this for a moment. From the few people I had the displeasure of interacting with, they were entitled, acting as if they owned everything and you weren’t allowed to have anything. Then a thought occurred to me.  

“But can’t spirits become greedy as well, right?”

“Yes, and when a spirt becomes too greedy, usually trying to conquer the human realm, The Spirit King would either imprison them or eradicate their spirit.”

“What do you mean, eradicate?”

“I mean destroy to the point that they never existed,” Dad answered then switched gears, “But let’s get back to Pamuya.”

I didn’t argue but I would pin this for another time.

Pamuya was not banished. However, Amek could not ignore this crime. Thus, he bound her with a special collar that would seal off her powers, weakening her just enough so she couldn’t escape, but not enough to make her mortal. Then she was thrown into The Frost.

Yet Amek made the mistake of releasing her from her cell. And each time, he thought the humans were out of her system, until she’d get caught trying to create a portal of her own. Unbeknownst to Amek, Pamuya had succeeded in returning to see her human.

When the moon was fullest and brightest and highest in the sky, the mortal realm became open to the spirits, thus creating portals. All Pamuya had to do was tap into the open entry and push her way through. Although, the window was short and she could never stay long.

Eventually, Amek found out and he banished her. Not only that, he stripped her of her spirit form and made her mortal. Mortal enough that her life would be shortened like a human’s and she would age and grow weak over time, like they do. But Amek wanted her to be safe, so he allowed her to maintain her powers.

Yet it was not enough to save her in the end. The human became consumed by power and tried to steal her powers from her. They both died in the end. Amek, feeling guilty over not protecting her more, sent her body to the spirit world before her soul could completely cross over. He did this for her and the human, allowing them to both reincarnate. In hopes of one day seeing his Pamuya again.

“But why both of them?” I asked.

“Maybe Amek felt guilty for the human too.” My dad shrugged. “I’m curious though,” he continued. “What made you dream of Amek this time?”

I chewed on my bottom lip before revealing to him my find in the library this past week. I had read the first couple of entries, trying to piece Ayden’s timeline with Pamuya’s but I was drawing a blank. Each night I had dreamed of Ayden and all the different things the journal had said. But in the last entry I read, Ayden described how Pamuya must return before Amek finds out. And later that night, I had that dream about him, Amek.

“Maybe this journal is jarring all those memories for you. It certainly seems that way. If it’s helping, I say keep at it.”

I nodded my head. Then I asked, “Do you think that boy reincarnated here, in my time?”

“Who knows. Anything is possible.”