Pamuya - I Need Answers

In this scene, it’s the next day after Ayden forced Annalee to turn back into Pamuya against her will. And she realizes there’s so much about Pamuya’s life she doesn’t know and she needs answers but she’s interrupted from her thoughts when Ayden shows up at her door. Enjoy.

Annalee POV

I bolted upright, sweat dripping all over me, my shirt and sheets clinging to my skin. I had never had that dream before. I thought, she thought, we thought Ayden had murdered us. How come I didn’t remember that until now?

Come to think of it, I had never remembered anything from the timing of my past’s demise. And I began to wonder if these were memories or my/Pamuya’s powers distorting the truth.

I always thought I knew what happened between me and Ayden in our past life. Though I have few memories of our lives together, I really didn’t know what transpired between Ayden and Pamuya, myself.

“Ugh!” This was so frustrating. I was beginning to lose myself and who I thought I was.

The way my father, my earth father, explained it me was that we the spirit dies, the body returns to the earth but the soul, spirit, consciousness transcends to the spirit world and can be reborn. Normally, one could not choose when or who they were reborn to be. However, because Pamuya’s body was sent to the spirit world and Amek, The Spirit King, was the one who sent her, she/I could pick when and who we wanted to be once reborn. I was reborn to Nolan because he was a guardian of the spirit world, whom Amek asked to reincarnate with me. And because I chose Nolan, I still retain the memories of the life I lived before.

Except I didn’t. Ayden knew about me from before, Nolan knew about my time in the spirt world, hell, even my mother Ava, knew a thing or two about my life as a celestial being. All I had were bits and pieces and none of them showed me the slightest bit of the picture.

I needed answers. It seemed I knew nothing

A knock sounded at my door and deciding nothing could be done about my angst at this moment, I went to answer it.

When I opened the door, Ayden stood before me with a pink box in his hands and an apologetic look on his face. My brain immediately, un uh. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to speak.

“I brought some coffee cake. I didn’t know what you liked—”

“Hmph,” I snorted. “You don’t know what I like? Really? Because yesterday and for much of our— I gestured between the two of us—“whatever this you is, you’ve known everything about me all along. So much so that you even know how to manipulate me and tricking my past self into existence.”

“Annalee, I—”

“Well am I wrong?” I threw my hands up in the air.

“I wasn’t trying to trick you,” he spoke softly.

“So just manipulation then?”

“Annalee, please, I’m truly sorry. This wasn’t just about seeing Pamuya again. True, I needed to see her again, to make amends but I needed you to be her.”

“You are unbelievable.” I began to slam the door in his face, but he caught the frame and pressed between the door and the threshold.

“I needed you to be her so your consciousness could be one,” he continued.

I knew I shouldn’t listen to his bullshit. He could say whatever he wanted, but we both knew, the person he was love with, the person he wanted to be with was Pamuya, not me. Except Pamuya was me and I was her. Her consciousness was inside of me, speaking through me. I just didn’t know how to get her out. And wasn’t I saying something earlier about getting answers. I wasn’t ready to trust him, but I could listen to what he had to say.

I stepped aside and allowed Ayden to come into my room. This conversation was going in a weird direction, and I didn’t need any of my dormmates hearing it out loud. I shut thew door and ushered him to the chair at my desk, but he waved his hand, stating he’d prefer to stand.

There we both stood, facing one another. Me, feeling, and probably looking angry as well; and Ayden, shifting from foot to foot, pressing a little too hard into that cake box, trying not to meet my gaze.

I took the pastry from him and sat it on the desk. I was mad but that didn’t mean I was going to turn down a free cake. I kind of wish he had brought some coffee too. I mean, how could you have coffee cake without the coffee? It’s implied.

He straightened his shoulders back and fully looked at me. I was almost taken aback by his directness. Ayden wasn’t timid or shy, but I had never seen him look this way.

Damn. Must be big what he’s about to say. Don’t let him see you sweat.