Let's Talk About Ethan

Heads up, there’s gonna be spoilers. So if you haven’t read the book and don’t want to spoil your (reading) appetite, then you might not want to read this blog. This book blog is going to take an in depth look at one of the secondary characters of this novel. So please go check out the book and the book review before reading this blog. But if you’re okay with spoilers, please read and enjoy. And without further adieu . . .

I always knew Ethan liked Alison before he knew. There is no way a boy is going through as much trouble as he does just to compete with a girl. As my mama always used to say, “He’s doing that because he likes you.” And Ethan clearly likes Alison. 

Don’t believe me? Well, let’s look at the facts. Ethan is in all her classes. Not only is he in all her classes, when the principal tells them she made sure not to have them in the same class but Ethan rallied against it, that’s proof right there he liked her. Speaking of the principal, both Alison and Ethan are called into her office and Alison is quiet about it but it is Ethan who breaks the silence. Alison retorts that she wishes he hadn’t spoken but then she notes that “it’s grossly married-couple, the whole framework. Worse, Ethan’s now smiling, elbow on his armrest, chin on his palm.” (Wibberley and Siegemund-Broka, p. 53) 

This goes to show that Ethan does enjoy their repartee. Maybe not the marital aspects of it but Ethan is soaking it all up. Him putting his chin on his palm, he is readily and happily anticipating what she’s going to say. Ethan lives to annoy her, feeds off her hostility, and swims in their exchanges because at least he is interacting with her. Then he asks something that I think is truly telling. “You don’t enjoy our conversations?” (Wibberley and Siegemund-Broka, p. 53) This clearly says, “Come on girl, you know you like it as much as I do.” Ethan enjoys being with Alison, even though it is only in the capacity of their rivalry. Like I said, it is the interaction with her he seeks, and he’ll do anything to achieve this. 

Ethan takes this a step further when Alison decides to divvy up the tasks for the class reunion so that they don’t have to work together. Ethan flat out says no. And she tells him that they will have to work together. Ethan simply replies “I guess it does.” And Alison picks up on his smug approval. She laments that Ethan “knew this would be the outcome, and he enjoyed goading me there.” (Wibberley and Siegemund-Broka, p. 74-5) Unfortunately, the book only focuses on Alison’s thoughts but if I had to take a guess, Ethan wants more time with Alison, not less. For if it truly were about their rivalry and his hatred of her, wouldn’t he want to show her up or prove that whatever tasks she gives him, he could do better than she ever could? No, he doesn’t. He’d rather they work together in close proximity than work separately and beat her at their little game. 

We see this truly realized when Alison starts ignoring him, trying to be mature for once in their high school lives when Ethan approaches her at the bonfire. He flat out tells her “‘You know, it’s not easy to hear that you’re not obsessed with me, Sanger. [Alison’s last name] I’ve worked hard.’ His voice is light like he’s joking and slightly strained like he’s not.” (Wibberley and Siegemund-Broka, p. 179) This is where we see the depth of his feelings for her. Everything before, the rivalry, the back and forth, the constant annoying her, that was all surface. Here, we see Ethan is bothered by Alison’s dismissal of their feud. Of her dismissal of him. Yet when Alison replies with her little quip, Ethan says, “There she is. [...] If I wasn’t sworn to hate you until graduation, I’d say I missed this.” (Wibberley and Siegemund-Broka, p. 180) 

Again, this is Ethan’s way of admitting how he feels about Alison. He wants to cover himself and not come outright saying “I’ll miss this” or “I’ll miss you,” but that’s exactly what he is saying. Think of the ‘if’ as a but and it’s in the middle of the sentence. ‘I swore to hate you until graduation but I’d say I missed this.” If we read the sentence that way, everything before the ‘but’ is negated and he will miss Alison. 

This was the most frustrating thing for me about this book. If Alison could just see or understand, she’d know Ethan likes her. He has been showing signs and even flat out saying to her ‘I like you.’ And she chalks everything to their rivalry because somewhere deep down, she doesn’t want to admit that’s what this is. 

But the thing that truly cements Ethan’s like for Alison comes towards the end of the novel, where they unveil some real truths about each other. It’s the scene where Ethan picks Alison up for their date and Ethan comments that she’s always dressed up, but he knows that she likes looking professional. Then he admits that “I changed my whole wardrobe freshman year when I realized teachers respected you more because you looked put-together.” (Wibberley and Siegemund-Broka, p. 351-2) This made me feel sad for Ethan. For nearly four years, he has been trying to impress Alison, show Alison that he is her equal, a match. This goes to show that Ethan wants to be worthy of Alison. He knows how serious Alison is about school and achieving academic success. And he knows anything short of that will not gain Alison’s attention. 

However, this is why I worry for Ethan. For on the next page he says, “You said our relationship was immature [...] I’m going to show you it doesn’t have to be.” (Wibberley and Siegemund-Broka, p. 353) This, plus the rest of it, shows that Ethan is willing to change to be whoever Alison desires most. While I do like that Ethan is open to change and new ideas, I don’t like that Ethan’s whole persona is centered around Alison. Ethan has no idea what he wants to do or who he wants to be, he just wants to impress her. And I think that’s a bad way to be. It doesn’t leave much room for a person to figure out themselves. It leaves a person trapped being a shadow of someone else's expectations, leaving growth and opportunity to come whenever the person you’re copying decides to change. You don’t get to truly experience life for yourself by following other people.

Yet, the novel does remedy this when Alison tells them they should take a break after graduation, so that they can both find themselves. Ethan agrees, on the condition that Alison doesn’t find a new rival. And Alison agrees, replaying with her trademark “Obviously.” (Wibberley and Siegemund-Broka, p. 389) This goes to show that Ethan and Alison don’t want this thing between them to end. That they want to continue in this new found space of theirs but with some rivalry. That maybe what they had all along wasn’t a rivalry but a challenge to someone worthy to be their equal. I’m glad Ethan agrees to go find himself but I’m even more glad he wants to still be Ethan with her.