New Year . . . Let's Just Wait And See

At the beginning of each year, people make New Year’s resolutions. Although, I’ve heard some people calling them reservations. Meaning they reserve the right to change what their resolutions will be as the year changes or they have made reservations and can cancel them any time they want, like a restaurant booking or a dentist appointment. Me? I am doing neither.

 I, like many people, make resolutions (or reservations) and then abandon them before Martin Luther King Day. This year, I have decided to see how I feel and base my actions upon that. If I feel like working out, I work out, but if I stop, don’t beat myself up like I didn’t keep my resolutions. I can always pick it back up anytime I want and stop when I like. This year, I am not putting so much pressure on myself. I always say I’m going to do something and each time I fail, I chastise myself to the point I sometimes physically feel sick.

 This past month, I had gotten sick for two weeks with an upper respiratory infection and the doctor told me just to let it runs its course. Well, it took 14 days exactly to leave. One, because I had grades to finalize while I was sick, but also, because I kept trying to push myself beyond my limits instead of resting. And I realized, this whole semester, I was staying up until 4 o’clock in the morning grading, then getting back up at 9 am the next day and working the whole day before heading off to bed in the wee morning hours.

 Working myself to death like that wasn’t good for my health. Of course, me being the perfectionist and worker bee that I am, I have made comments like “I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” or “Sleep is for the weak,” or “If you ain’t dying, you ain’t trying.” Well, that viral infection felt like dying. I was hot, then cold, then sometimes both at the same time. It was torturous.

 Thus, I realize, finally, I don’t have to live that way. So, this year, I will listen to my body, both mentally and physically. If I feel a sharp pain, take a beat and rest. If I feel uneasy, stop and do something that I find calming. And when I start to feel signs of sickness, go to bed early and speak to my physician or call the pharmacy for actual medical advice.

 Despite all the comments I have made to myself, I have also said that I don’t want to go into my 40’s the way I did in my 30’s or 20’s. Especially if I have nothing but illness to show for it. As I always tell others (yet somehow never myself), it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

 Thanks for reading.