New Musing: Trials of a Writer

This week wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

For those of you who don’t know, I recently had to take another job, alongside with my adjunct position, to pay the bills. It’s not ideal but it’s a necessary part of life.

I don’t know why I was so apprehensive about starting this job. I guess the fact that I had to take another job in the first place made me apprehensive because it might affect my work as an adjunct; but really, I think I was apprehensive because I was starting a job I already had before. Taking this job just felt like I was going backwards and not forwards; thus, it made me feel like a failure. I only want to have a successful career in the publishing field (which I’m not even working in) and I want to write a great novel. I know those things are achievable but right now, those things feel damn near impossible.

Having had to work two jobs once before in my life, my writing suffered because I didn’t have the time, let alone the energy to write. And when I’m worrying about bills, my writing suffers even more. What I hope for this time around (since I’m in my 30s and not my 20s) is that I will have a better handle on time management and have enough money to not worry about bills. The pay here is good, so I know I’ll have enough to cover my bills. Now I just need time to write.